Myogenic
by alex3194
Summary: Every heart has it's own story. What are Near's and Mello's story?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey. Well, I got really into this, it wasn't meant to be anything bad, it just happened :L **

**I don't own Deathnote, I don't own the characters, sorry guys. I hope you enjoy it, i might write another chapter, I don't know yet. In case your wondering, Myogenic is basically the heart's ability to beat on it's own without the function of other cells or organs in the body, i think :L but you can look it up if you really want too. Oh, and i apologise for any grammar or spelling mistakes.  
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How does he shine so bright? How does he win? I couldn't help but stare at my rival from across the classroom. Yes, I was in a lesson, Yes the teacher was teaching, but such things fascinate me. I have known Near for as long as I could remember. I have always had this fantasy to rip open his secrets, to see what makes him ticks. These are just fantasy's I told myself again and again, its normal for boys my age too fantasise about something, hell, Matt fantasizes about princess Peach every night. I can't help but stare even though I look slightly odd, as if I were going to uncover everything about him by doing this. Without warning Near catches a glimpse of me staring at him, Fuck. I feel my face burning, I feel my heart pumping at an alarming rate. I look away quickly, pushing my head into my hands to hide my colour transformation of bright red. From the corner of my eyes, I see something...strange. Was Near smiling?

That lesson went on longer than it was supposed too, was it my lack of concentration? This only meant more work for me, more catching up. I made my way to the library. It's always best to come during the day, everyone saves studying for night time. I walk in through the door through the familiar place which held more than books, it held memories. This is where me and Matt once stayed up all night on his new video game. Also this is where me and Near would compete. The atmosphere became thick when we were both here. I stroll down one of the isles of books too find the one I'm looking for. I search through the books on the shelf one by one, careful not to make a misjudgement.  
"Mello!"

I hear someone calling my name. I immediately flush. Sure he's my best mate, but he's so distracting.

"Ha, Mello, didn't think i'd find you here so early in the day."

"Yeah, well I don't have the simplicity of your studying nature Matt" I begin to look through the book to make sure Near has stolen any pages, written anything in them...I sound so paranoid, it's scaring me. It's natural though. He has always won every match, every test, everything. I always got the left overs. No matter how hard I tried, it never compared to what Near was capable of. He was my rival, my competitor...but also...

"MELLO!"

"WHAT!" everyone in the library is looking around at us. I can see the librarian raise her eyebrows while crossing her arms. I am not in her good books, I never return the books in time.

"Matt, don't you have something to do?"

"No. Why I came too see you, want to play a game or something?"

"Matt, I'm busy mate, maybe another time" I begin to walk towards the librarian, still raising her eyebrows too me. I feel bad for Matt I really do, he doesn't understand this feeling, this passion. The only thing he has to beat is me, but Matt is loyal, maybe that's why I like having him around, it eases my paranoia. I begin to walk out the room before briefly turning around too Matt giving him a short wave and smile.

I begin to walk back too my room. There is one long corridor which are where the rooms are. I pray every night I never have to cross paths with...shit, there he is now. White hair, White clothes, man in fucking white, yep it's him. He doesn't look up too me, he knows I'm here. We meet in the middle. He's looking at the book in my hand. I try make conversation, I rarely do but fuck anything to have a go at this fool. "So, have you read this yet?"

"Yes...four times." he says it with no emotion.

I look down, I feel...slightly insulted.

"I see...well...I should go read it now, later."

I begin to walk away, I think I'm moving a lot quicker than I was before. It a natural hate, everyone hates their rivals right?

"...Mello."

Hmmm. I stop in my tracks, not only am I paranoid, im hearing things. Maybe Matt's right, maybe I do need some time out.

"...I have a better book, the science teacher gave me a copy of the one he used at university."

"Ha, huh, what, ha, yeah..." Fuck My. life. I sound like a fucking idiot.

"Why are you lending me it then? Wouldn't it be a disadvantage for you?"  
"Not really..." he says looking down at his socks.

I don't know what to really think,why is he doing this, I hate him with an unbearable passion. Right now I'm thinking of what to say, if I say yes. I would be on an even level with Near maybe with a chance of beating him. I say no, I walk away I walk away with the pride that I don't need his help. Then again when will a time like this come? Ive never spoken to Near and vice verse.

"...Okay." I say trying to remain collectively calm about the situation.

Maybe he was shocked, but I could have sworn I saw his eyes widen slightly, ever slightly. When you watch someone every day you notice these things.

"My room Is just down here, I don't mind delivering it too your room later."

"No it's fine, might as well get it now"

Woah this is creepy. I am not even thinking of what I'm saying. I'm nervous. Its my rival, my one hate in life, my... one...I don't know...

"Mello?"

I shake my head from these thoughts. I advance towards him only to notice he's already opened the door. He walks in, I slowly follow behind. Once the door is closed, I look round his room, almost like a teenager in the naughty films section. It's neat. Which is all I can say, everything seems organised. A couple of toys lying around on the floor but it's quite cute. Cute? Mello you retard.  
"Ah...here it is" I see Near reaching for a book while standing on top of a chair, it doesn't look safe, but who am I to be worried. However I am worried, it wobbles violently. How can he not notice such a thing? Suddenly the chair tilts sideways sending Near along with it. I rush to his side "Are you okay! Are you hurt?..Near!"

"...I'm okay, thank you for your concern though Mello." I see him stand up, he is not okay, that lump on his head is massive.

"Idiot.." I pull him down so he is resting his head on my lap.  
Okay I should have thought that through but it's too late now. I see him staring up at me with these questionable eyes which he knows for definite I wont answer.

I slowly inspect the bump. It looks painful. I Slowly remove his head, grab his hand and lead him to the bed.

"It's not what you think ha...It's better if you lay down here." Near looks slightly disappointed I cant imagine why. I go to his own suite a rinse out a flannel. I return to find him laying there with his eyes closed and his hand on his head. I feel sympathy, i've always wondered about Near, he childhood, his feelings, his thoughts. Ha, Yeah right like Near has feelings. I go over to the bed, trying my best not to make it look awkward. I sit beside him, holding a flannel on his bump.

I think back to when I first met Near. That is when it started. It was a puzzle even then. I saw him there holding onto Roger's hand another one on a teddy bear. His complexion did not change much, but I remembered the fascination, the curiosity was impeccable. Little did I know he was my soon to be rival. Back then, we were friends. We would play and talk with each other, before the competition started. Near came across as an angel too me, not because of his complexion but everything about him. He would never do bad. My mother told me before she died how we are all angels of God, he has sent us all for a purpose.

"...Please give it back..." Near was crying, holding both hands to his eyes.

"I kind of like this teddy bear, it seems a good thing to set on fire, what do you think boys?" they all nodded.

"...Please don't." Nears tears were rolling down his cheek, he watched as the elder boys put a lighter to bear. It went up in flames, along with everything inside of him. Near ran. Ran, ran, ran. To one place he thought was safe.

It took me ages to find him that day. Roger kept nagging me and nagging me until eventually I cracked. I had no intention of finding him not where I was going but I did. I saw him crying on one of the chairs. His knee's up and his face tucked in it.

"Near? Whats wrong?" I never saw Near smile, let alone cry. He said nothing, he didn't look at me. "Where is your teddy bear? Have you lost it?" I got a reaction. He buried his head deeper into his knees as if he was trying to suffocate himself.

"Near, we'll go look for it now, stop crying." I tried patting him on the back.

"...It's gone..."  
"What?" I looked at him.

"It's gone forever..." I still didn't make sense but I can only judge that 'teddy is never coming back.

"well...umm...why don't we find you something else you can have?" world isn't just full of teddy bears.

"It was soft..." he mumbles quietly.

"Yeah well so is hair, look." I grab his hand and tangle it in my hair. He slowly begins stroking it, then running his fingers through it and finally twirling it.

"Now try with your hair". I said as I remove his hands from mine

He slowly reaches up to his white hair and begins to stroke it. He follows the same movements as before and ends up twirling his hair in his finger. We sit in silence for ages, his hand never departing from his hair.

"Well...You should head back, Roger is waiting for you." I say as I stand up.

"Aren't you coming too?" He says as he steps up too, his hand still twirling hair. I look up at the statue of Jesus hanging on the cross.

"No, I have something to do..." He understands. He begins too walk away, his finger still twirling his hair.

"Near?..." Near looks up at me. I remove the flannel from his head. "Why was that teddy bear so important too you?..."

Near looks away from me. I was afraid too ask this question, Near never talks about his feelings, however I never have seen him cry apart from that day, that teddy bear.

"...I'm sorry, I didn't mean too..."

"No, it's alright. My mother gave me it, it was passed down from her mother..."

"I see..." I understand how Near didn't exactly answer the question but I can understand that he held his mother dear, which is why he held his teddy bear dear. Suddenly I begin to feel sadness, I was always considered to be over emotional.

"Well, I better go" I say walking over to where the book was dropped down on the floor. I pick up the chair and put it in it's original place, I know how Near is a neat freak. Near gets up from bed. I begin to advance my way out. I feel something tugging on my sleeve.

"Near?" He's there behind me looking at my legs, he can never look anyone in the eye.

"...I..." I can see him trying to talk however it doesn't come out his mouth. He reluctantly lets go of my sleeve. I stare at him with an expressionless gaze. He's looking at the floor just standing there.

"I'll see you later..." I say, I open the door and close it behind me. I lean against the door frame trying to figure out what the hell happened. Near has always been weird but there was something more too it, what was he trying too say?

I don't have time for this, little brat is trying to distract me. I walk towards my room. I open the door and shut it behind me. My room is nothing compared to Nears. Nothing is organised or neat. Few books are scattered across the floor with some papers on my bed. I sigh, I really should study but I just can't concentrate. Why me? Why does he enjoy picking on me. I throw the book on the desk and look at the index. This book seems complicated. I open to the section I'm studying, the human heart. Like I said, I should be studying but I find myself staring out the window.

Me and Near. We do have a past. We shared our first kiss together. We were 8 at the time.

"Near?" I say looking at him playing with his puzzle. "Don't you ever get bored of playing with that thing?" I sit next to him. We are outside, the sun is high in the sky with the clouds bordering it. Everything seems peaceful with the boys playing football and Near sitting here.

"No...Not really.." He replies not taking his eyes away from the puzzle. I stare at him, I will never understand him. We sit there for a while, Near finishes of his puzzle.

"I see you've completed it at last, how many times have you done it?"

"Only 5 times" He says. Only 5 times! Is he crazy.

"Why are you so fond of that puzzle?"

"L gave it too me as a present" L. I see, that explains a lot, Near was always inspired by L. Suddenly I feel a drip on my nose, then another one. Its raining, I can see Near looking up unaffected by the rain, he actually seems to enjoy.

"We better go hide somewhere..." He just looks up, closing his eyes and letting the rain wash over his face. I am fascinated by the look on his face, but we can't stay here. I grab his hand and lead him under a tree. We sit there for a while.

"So do you like the rain?" I ask unsure if he'll reply. "Yes, it makes me feel...happy." Happy? Near feels happy? "Quite strange, people would associate the rain with darkness and unhappiness..."

"I think it's symbolic for cleansing, it washes away everything bad..." I don't know what to say, I've never heard Near be so open about his thoughts and feelings yet I'm very happy. We sit there, looking up at the sky, the rain is pouring down doesn't look like its going to stop anytime soon.

These where the early days of our competition, I hadn't yet acknowledged the fact I would remain number 2 for the rest of my life. I always thought I had a chance of winning that someday I would in fact be number one.

"Mello...?" I look too Near who is still looking deeply at the sky. "who will be L when L dies?"

I look at him shocked, confused and dazed. I understood the purpose of Wammy's were too find L's successors and obviously so did he.

" I don't know, I don't think we could ever replace L. L had a purpose, we each do, L was meant to be L" Near is looking at me intrigued I see his mind analysing my words processing them.

"What is my purpose, who am I meant to be?" I'm staring into his eyes, looking for something I wont find. I think about what he's said, he wants a reply, he's challenging me. I smile at him. I can see the look in his eyes become more fixated in me.

"You...were meant to be Near". I can see his face brightening up. He looks away from me, then looks back. I can see he understands what I mean. For some reason my words aren't good enough, I feel something coming over me, a new feeling of becoming even closer too Near, I want too feel him, taste his innocence. I slowly begin too lean in, I can see him become shocked, he's never witnessed this type of affection. Slowly I brush my lips against his. They are soft and tender. His eyes remain open. I try deepen the kiss by forcing our lips together. Suddenly his eyes close and so do mine. I wonder why im doing this, but something inside me is screaming too do it. We kiss for what seems like an eternity. When we part I see him looking at me briefly before he looks up at the sky.

"The rain has stopped..." he says, I look up at the sky and realise he is right.

"we better go change" I say looking down at our clothes. I can see his skin through his white shirt, I feel the temptation to explore further with him. We walk back to our own rooms. We reach his door before mine. "Well, Bye Near." He looks at me. "Bye Mello." I walk away from him, I can't believe I've just had my first kiss with Near. I hear a door close behind, I look back too find he's gone inside his room. I reach my room, one last time looking at his door. This is so sad I think to myself. Just hormones.

That was the last time we properly spoke to each other. I hear a knock on the door.

"Hey Yellow Mello, You still studying?"

who am I kidding, I need a distraction. "Come in Matt"

He comes in with bloodshot eyes. "fucking hell Matt, how long did you play for?"

"ha..." he scratches the back of his head, "Hey wanna go out and play? All the boys are waiting for you"  
"Sure" I smile up at him and walk out my room. "so what are you studying?" "oh, the human heart" "fun". We walk past Near's door.

I wonder.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2, Yay :) I don't really know much about Matt's character in general so I apologise if it seems a bit OOC, also i apologise for any grammer or spelling mistakes. Again, I don't own any of the deathnote character or deathnote itself, maybe one day ;)I'm thinking of continuing this story. I hope you enoy! Thanks too ITILY for the wicked review, really appreciated :)  
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"...The heart muscle, known as the cardiac muscle is unusual that it can initiate its own contraction, for this it is described as myogenic..."

It makes me think of Near, in a philosophical sense. He could live his whole life without ever opening his heart to anyone, no one there to stimulate his heart. Since yesterday, he's been bugging me with his strange behaviour. I've been itching for an excuse to try and talk too him, so I've brought along the excuse of giving back his book I burrowed. I wrote everything I needed after I went out with Matt.

Finally the bell rang.

"Class is dismissed." I had my eye on him.  
"Hey Mello? Where are you going?" Matt asked me whilst standing up.

"I got to give this book back, I wont be long."

"Tch, Yeah Mello, course you wont..." he says while smiling...how irritating.

"Oh yeah, just you wait". I quickly walk out of class. Shit, where did he go? Knowing Near, he would be playing with his damn puzzles.

I don't regularly go into the common room, for the sake it's full of weird people, such as Near. But here I am. I spot him on the floor, one leg kneeling up and one hand on the puzzle, little effort going into but you can see how concentrated he is.

"Hey, Near..." He looks up at me. He seems a bit annoyed at first but then reluctantly gives me his full attention.  
"Um...I want to give you your book back, it's kinda heavy to carry around with me, so can I drop it off in your room?" "...yeah, sure." He goes back to his puzzle. Damn, I wanted too try and talk about yesterday, I thought this would be the perfect chance.  
"How is that lump?" He doesn't look up at me. This is so infuriating, such a simple question I'm not asking for much.

"It's fine." Oooh. He's getting too me, my blood is boiling. I know he hasn't done anything but he's not doing what I want him to do, controlling maybe? Who knows I just want some answers.

"..." I don't know what to say too make him talk. Guess nothing I can say. I walk away but for some strange reason as I'm walking away I can feel his eyes staring at me as I leave, call me paranoid but I could feel it.

I'm so glad to be out of there. I enjoy playing out on the field with the boys. I spot Matt kicking a ball around the field.

"Hey Smelly Melly, your finally back, was it hard to depart from your lover?" He's smiling. I'm not. In fact I have a good idea where to place that ball on him.

"Matt honestly, why do you talk so much...SHIT" he laughs. He says he enjoys my company I think he just likes annoying me.

I remember when I first met Matt, I was 8 then too. I walked into the library it must have been 10 o'clock at night. There he was in the corner hogging a computer smashing down on the keyboard. I thought he was nuts. I put all my stuff on the table. I knew of him at the time, I never spoke too him though. Damn, if I don't finish this project by tomorrow, I'm in deep trouble. Suddenly I hear Matt swear and punch the computer. I had to admit I was pretty freaked out right now. He looks over at me. Oh no, I hope he doesn't think I'm princess peach, blond hair gives it away.

"Hey...Your Mello right?" "Ummmm...Yeah" "I've never seen you around, seems like you hide in your room all the time, how come?" "Well...because..." I didn't want to answer, the reason was obvious, to beat Near, just once I would be happy. "You know what you need, you need to have some fun." "No thanks, your red bloody eyes put me off." "Man they are killing me, wish I could solve it." "Well you can, where goggles or something...or maybe stop playing games and work" it was purely sarcastic. "Man, that is a great idea...goggles, why didn't I think of that, I'm surprised your not number one" he has this smile on his face, my face is planted on the table...Why me? The next day I see him wearing goggles. I don't believe it. He comes up too me "Hey yellow, isn't this great? No one can see my eyes and how red they are" "Yeah...don't call me yellow..it's not funny" "Mello, Mello, you have a lot to learn, ill see you tonight at the library yeah?" "No..." "cool see you then"

Who does he think he is? How annoying. Just then Near walks up behind me. He taps me on the back, I turn around surprised too see him. He stands there twirling his hand in his hair. "It's been 2 months, haven't you let go of your hair yet..." He smiles as if he was amused at what I said. Suddenly the teacher walks up to us.

"Well done Near, as usual you got top scores for your project...Mello you did...good." He hands out projects back with a grade and a score. I curiously peek over to Near's he did better. I feel happy for him, he feels happy too, but somehow I'm disappointed, I worked so hard. Suddenly everyone is crowding around Near. "Well done Near" "Your amazing" "Your just like L".  
"Yeah well done..." I leave the room pretty quick. He did good, but why does no one pay attention too me? I worked so hard...why don't I get recognition for that? I open my door and throw myself on my bed. I feel...upset, not that Near beat me but how no one noticed me. Ever since I was little, I've been trying to get people too notice me. No one payed attention though, they never did.

There's a knock on the door. "What..." I say its muffled as my head is currently in my pillow.

"Mello..." Near walks in and closes the door behind him. I sit up on my bed. "Why are you here? I'm sure there's kids waiting to praise you out there..." "...Don't be jealous Mello, just work harder next time." Work harder huh? "I have been working hard all my life, it gets me no where, how dare you tell me to work hard, don't you see me up till dawn working hard?" He steps away. How dare he tells me too work hard, he has no idea. "Go away..." I lay back down on my bed. "Mello..." "Just go..." and he does. Damn, did I want him too leave? Maybe I was wrong to shout at him? Maybe he still feels awkward about the first kiss we had. I don't know, I don't want too think any more. Suddenly Matt comes into mind. Heh, guess i'll be going.  
"Well, look whose here, I knew you'd come." Matt's leaning back on a chair, his goggles on his head. "Eh? What's wrong with you? You look like shit." "Wow...thanks." "Just pull up a chair, I found this really cool book." He pats on the chair next too me. I feel so down, I take it. We spend ages looking at this book, he seemed fascinated. I was fascinated by him. He did take my mind of a lot of things. "Hey...don't tell me your project is bothering you...Near only wants to be number one, he can't help but be number one". I grit my teeth together. "Are you guys friends?" "I guess so..." maybe we were more, did that kiss mean anything to him, he hasn't spoken to me about It since..."If he was your friend, he wouldn't leave you behind like that, hey smelly, just stick with me, I wont let you down." I look at him, it felt so good too hear someone say that. "and for what it's worth, I think your pretty amazing" he smiles at me pointing to his goggles, I cant help but laugh. I didn't mean to push Near away, honestly I didn't. It just happened I spent more time with Matt for the selfish reason he made me feel important. Everytime Near spoke too me I would reply with one worded answers, I wouldn't even look at him. I could see it in his eyes, he was hurt. Yet he kept coming back, until eventually he stopped and spent most of the time in his room...alone.

"Hey Matt, you don't mind if I skip out on this game" I ask. I know Matt's not going to be happy, I just dont feel like playing today.

"Are you crazy? You must be, stop thinking dirty thoughts about your lover, can't you do that later?"

I walk away, I'm not really in the mood for Matt's fucked up humour. "H-Hey! I was only joking Mello!" I hear him shout from across the field. I pretend not too hear him though. I walk through the corridor joining our rooms together. I don't know what I feel like doing. Guess I better give back that book. I pick up the book from my room and start walking towards Near's. Shit this book is heavy, how did Near manage to carry this? I don't even knock, I just walk in. I didn't expect Near to be there, but he was. "M-M-Mello?" Oh god. He was getting changed...Oh God. "I'm sorry! I thought you'd be with your puzzles" he quickly does his buttons on his top up. This is embarrassing, both our cheeks are glowing pink. Oh man. "Well, here's your book, thanks for letting me burrow it."  
He still has a blush on his cheeks, how adorable. "I-It's okay..." I smile at him. "Why are you embarrassed, you don't have anything to be embarr-a-ss-ed..." I was meant to think that, not say it.  
"Ha...Well bye." I itch the back of my head nervously, I can see him looking up at me with a more glowing blush. "I..Mello..." I turn around to look at him. It's just like yesterday. I walk up too him, I can see him shrink down a little. I need him. I need him so much. I grab his face and plant my lips on his, how soft. I can see him closing his eyes. I try deepening the kiss by biting his lip, I hear a small moan. I shove my tongue into his mouth, his tongue trys too battle mine I can feel his fluid entering my mouth. I need him so bad. I've waited 2 years for this. Without parting I slowly push him onto the bed. I am now laying on top of him trying to fulfil my need. The kiss only gets more heated. His hands are exploring my back. My hands are in his hair, pulling and tugging it. I feel how aroused he is underneath me, I think he can feel me too. I want more. We finally part. I see him panting breathing for more air as if I was suffocating him. I begin to undo the buttons on his shirt. "M-Mello?" I can see how scared he is in his face. What am I doing? I pushed Near away. Why did I come back now? I quickly get up from him wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. He sits up quickly trying to do his buttons back up. "I'm...so sorry." I run to his door. "Mello! Wait!." Too late, Ive already gone. I run back into my room and close the door. I slowly slide down. My head is a mess, I feel like I'm going into cardiac arrest. I don't even know why I'm crying. Why was I so fucking stupid. I grip my hair tight as if I was trying to pull them out, to erase what Ive done. I don't want too feel like this, this need. The funny thing is. It's not going away, I'm still aroused. "Just fuck off!" I yell too it.

"...What, Mello you cant still be mad!" I hear Matt from the other side. Great timing Matt, just made out with Near, got a boner. Crying my eyes out. Great timing.

I move back over to my bed, burring my face in my pillow. Matt opens the door.

"...Mello, I'm sorry, didn't mean too make you this upset..." I just lay there with my head in the pillow, trying to retain myself from crying.

"Mello!...ah geez, you are such a drama queen, looks like I'm going to have too tickle you.." Matt wouldn't dare, I would fucking slaughter him. He jumps on my back, I can feel his entire weight resting on me it's constricting my breathing. I feel his hands poke into my ribcage, it gets a reaction out of me as my body jerks. I can't help but laugh, not a happy sort of laugh but an angry laugh.

"See, that wasn't so hard?" He keeps poking my ribcage. "Matt!" I'm not on my back with my hands on his shoulders too push him away. Suddenly we hear the door open.

"Mello I came too give...you..." Shit. It's Near. For a second I saw something in his eyes, I couldn't tell what it was but he seemed...angry? He leaves,without saying another word he drops a piece of paper on his way out. My notes.  
"What was that all about?" Matt looks at me. I cant look at Matt, I cant look at anything. "I dunno..." I really don't know. "Right come on grumpy, your coming with me outside" He gets off of me and holds a hand out. I'm not in the mood. I want too talk too Near, I don't know why, I just want too, but I cant can I? I accept his offer. I stand up with him and we walk out my room. I pick up the piece of paper that's on my floor I quickly look at it. My eyes widen.

I'm so sorry Near, i'll make it up too you, I promise.


End file.
